We did have that discussion Torso. I have explained it. Coco was just supporting me, she didn’t make any statements about what you could talk about. Can we please move on now?
Has your CW cheated or not?
I don’t know if he will come back and answer or not, but no she hasn’t. I believe what happened at the time is the fellow writer was being flirty in a follow up email after his wife was attending a seminar and he felt his wife was being naive so he asked her to cut contact and she did.
Personally, I can understand because those rewriting retreats are intense and she is being honored. I can see how she might want to go and fully soak it in. I am not stating she is not cheating but I could also see how this being a unilateral decision she is making without any discussion would feel triggering for him.
I could think of many other scenarios as to why she doesn’t want to have a big discussion on it. And while I agree it’s insensitive, he says their marriage has been great so I don’t think she is likely routinely insensitive or overly selfish because most people married to someone like that wouldn’t describe it that way.
He has not asked her if she is cheating, he has only asked her why he can’t go. I could think of scenarios in which that isn’t connecting for her because from her standpoint she has been faithful. She never agreed with him that she was on a slippery slope with the other writer. We know that’s what people who are having an emotional affair would say but it’s also something someone who wasn’t leaning in that direction would say. Hard to really know.
Edited to add: here is where he mentioned it earlier in the thread, but the other details I wrote about her being naive I simply remember from
Past discussions:
A few years ago (or so) she was emailing with a guy who writes. He gives seminars and she went to one. A few days later he sends a personal email and compliments her- something like she "brightened up the seminar". She replies and gushes over his writing and then he calls her his "little verb" (wife is 5’0, 100 lbs and very fit). That did it for me. I put an end to the emails. She got mad and felt there was nothing to it, but I wasn’t going to let it go any farther.
I have sort of wondered if he is going to be there and she wants to avoid anything awkward. I wondered if that was what BP guy was hinting at -that someone is going to be here he wouldn’t be happy about.
[This message edited by hikingout at 5:51 PM, Thursday, February 12th]
